Really Cool Stuff

Parking a mid-2002 Pulsar 150 outside your favorite haunt, coming back three hours later, and finding the bike gone is very cool.

Coughing up eyeball-sized wads of what just might be phlegm is über cool.

Winning bets that you know will never be paid off, even in installments, is just peachy.

Changing your internet connection to something twice as fast and twice as expensive, then realizing that the extra monthly income you were counting on is not going to come through is just orgasmic.

Your girlfriend disappearing for a couple of months, without warning, is just like in the good old days.

Buying pirated “3-in-1″ DVDs only to find out that:

1. Some of them are scratched;
2. Those DVDs that are not scratched are home to cheap camera prints; and
3. You never really liked those movies, anyway

…is to die for.

Coming home early in the morning with a fresh pack of cigarettes only to find out that you’re all out of matches is WJWD.

If things got any cooler, I’d have to train a pack of sled dogs and learn Inuit.